A Fonder Heart
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Vala waits for Daniel who is missing in action. A D/V romance - coming to terms with their feelings. Some angst. Some fluff. All the usual D/Vness.


~0i0~

A Fonder Heart

Spacegypsy1

Pairing: Daniel and Vala

Rating: Slightly sexy

Approximately 4650 word

Written for the Live Journal Daniel_Vala Challenge - Where Are They Now?

~0i0~

_Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. That's another of those Tau'ri sayings that is ridiculous! Example? An absence such as that which Daniel will rarely comment on... ascension, would certainly do nothing to make a fonder heart. And I am certain that absence from missing in action, or, death could never make my heart grow fonder. Never._

~0i0~

Unable to respond with even a miniscule utterance to the General's questions, Vala rose and left the conference room without being dismissed.

Cam spat out a surprised, "Vala?"

"Let her go, Colonel," General Landry held up a hand, "She's barely out of the infirmary, she needs some time alone. It's been a tough week."

Nodding, Cam thought that was an understatement. It'd been a hell of a week.

"Vala Mal Doran must deal with the news that while Daniel Jackson is alive, it is believed he is in grave danger of not being so for much longer. SG-3 are prepared to rescue him if their negotiations for his release go, as you say, south, or as others say, sour. And she is well aware of that."

"Sure Teal'c, but we should be..."

"Colonel." Landry cautioned, "SG-1 can't be every where, every time."

"He's our teammate!"

Landry gave Cam a 'be silent' frown. "You rescued Vala. If you'd taken out after Dr. Jackson first, Vala would be dead now. Give Reynolds credit, he'll bring Dr. Jackson home. Hopefully, soon. You and Teal'c haven't been back with Vala long enough to catch your breath. You're all exhausted. Get some rest, we'll revisit your request to join the mission if needed in a few hours."

"Yes, sir." Cam's voice was heavy with reluctance.

~0i0~

Two hours later Cam found Vala sitting in the control room looking pale and worried as she stared through the window at the Stargate.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, he felt a slight twitch as if she was startled. "You've been here since you left the conference room haven't you? Dr. Lam told you to rest."

"And General Landry told you to rest. I heard him. I can't rest." Her hand went on top of his for a moment.

Cam squatted down beside her chair. "Vala, don't make me have to order you back to the infirmary. It's nearly midnight. Go get some sleep and I'll wake you if I hear anything."

Her eyes went narrow and she looked away.

"I'm serious. Those wounds won't ever heal if you don't get some rest."

Fat tears welled in her eyes as she looked back. "My heart will never heal if...if..." A sob broke, but she stifled it quickly. "You promise to wake me?" She said with false bravado.

Cam helped her up, his arm around her waist and he pulled her into a quick sideways hug. "I promise, the instant I know something. Can I walk you to your room?"

"I'm fine." Vala nodded, then spotting Teal'c entering, she gave him a little smile and patted his chest as she left.

It wasn't thirty minutes later that Reynolds called for back up and both Teal'c and Cam left the SGC with SG-11.

~0i0~

Vala had barely reached her room and kicked off her shoes when the call came and she'd been informed that the remainder of her team had left to back up Reynolds. Vala feared for the worst... what had they learned that sent them away so fast? And why was no one willing to tell her what was going on?

_He will come home alive. He will. He... _Her once indomitable spirit yielded to staggering fear and she melted down to her hands and knees, at her own inability to control the painful emotions that possessed her, Vala, arms shaking, sank farther sitting back on her heels and pressed her cheek to the floor. Weeping turned to violent racking sobs that she stopped trying to hold back.

By the time her convulsive crying turned into silent tears Vala's despair eclipsed anything she'd ever experienced before. She fought it. Pushed herself up to a sitting position, crossed her legs and steeled herself against the onslaught of thoughts that hounded her. Staring unseeing at the wall in her dimly lit room Vala did what she'd learn all to well to do throughout her life. Toughen up. Block out any emotion. Run for her life. Only she couldn't, not yet. But she would. First mission that comes along, she would run. Or maybe not. What was it Daniel had said when he'd found her? And after not giving up on her she reminded herself. '_You've been running so long it's almost second nature to you. You don't remember it, but you made a decision to stop running.'_

Her cracked ribs ached, and the stitches in her shoulder stung. Using the back of her injured and bandaged hand Vala swiped at the tears that would not stop falling from her eyes.

"I won't run, Daniel, no matter what. If you die I will hate you. I might leave your Tau'ri world. But I won't run." She choked up, sniffed, wiped her nose on the bandage. "I will hate you and your glib tongue and your handsomeness, and your sweetness, but I WILL hate you more for making me fall in love with you and then leaving me all alone. You have to live, Daniel. You have to live so I can tell you how much I love you."

Finally getting control of her tears Vala rose slowly, washed her face, slipped into her shoes and took out for the control room once again.

~0i0~

Daniel knew how bad this could get. This wasn't, as they say, his first rodeo, or his first torture.

Currently his arms stretched and tied high above his head ached but that was not how this was going to end – with aches. Shirtless and barefoot made him more vulnerable and he knows if he's lucky he won't end up naked.

Sweat seeped into cuts and scrapes, burning and mixing with fresh blood from the new slices to his skin made by thin long lashes of multiple whips.

Unfortunately he couldn't keep his mind on any of that. Fear crept in, flooding his mind with images of Vala in a similar position. He had to think she made good with her escape. He had to believe she was bringing help. He had to believe she wasn't, as his captors insisted, strung up exactly as he was and receiving the exact punishment but closer to death. All for trying to escape when she'd been arrested for daring to give food to orphan street urchins while he'd been negotiating with the barbaric and coldblooded isolationists.

He had to live long enough to confess his overwhelming ignorance in thinking he could cure himself of loving her. His heart belonged to her and she deserved to know that. He had to tell her. See her. There was no denying he was the biggest fool in the universe. And he wanted the universe to know that.

He had to believe she was alive and safe.

~0i0~

After a three hour vigil she left the control room. Vala decided to sit in Daniel's office, drink his coffee. Shelve his favorite books that he preferred to leave on his desk. Unstack his neatly stacked papers. Move his artifacts from their appointed spots. Yes. That is what she would do. Feeling numb she headed for the elevators.

When the klaxon sounded Vala spun around and broke into a run dashing into the control room then immediately taking the stairs down two at a time as the Stargate opened.

Mitchell and Daniel exited the Stargate. At first it was difficult to discern who was who as they supported each other and blood covered both faces. Mitchell's blood seemed to be red and flowing but Daniel's was darker, drier. Reynolds and SG-3 rushed through next, followed by SG-11 and finally, Teal'c coming in sideways still firing back through the Gate.

The room was in chaos as Vala and Daniel locked gazes across the distance. Each knew that mirrored look in the other's eyes. _You're alive! _

"Close the Gate!" Several voices called at once.

Teal'c and Vala nearly collided as they approached Daniel and Mitchell from two directions.

Vala managed to get an arm around Daniel and her shoulder up under his arm. Daniel grinned down at her upturned face then grunted his thanks when Teal'c took Mitchell's weight.

Mitchell swiped at the gash on his forehead with a sleeve. "I must look like Carrie."

"Who? Carrie who?" Vala asked as the Med team came in to take over and she stepped back watching them insist both Mitchell and Daniel get on a gurney.

SG-3 and SG-11, while battle weary and with minor injuries, all walked out under their own power. Teal'c, looking no worse for wear, followed the gurneys out and towards the infirmary.

Alone, Vala tented her fingers over her nose and waited for the flood of emotions to subside. He was alive and walking, so he must be okay. When she looked up into the control room and spotted General Landry watching her she nodded and turned away to slowly walked out.

~0i0~

Having to wait nearly an hour to see Daniel didn't help calm her jagged nerves. Finally she was allowed to get into the infirmary and wait in the chair outside of his curtained area as they finished with his meds and sat him up. Vala wasn't really sure what she would say to him and the longer she waited the less she was sure if she even wanted to see him. He was alive. He would be alright. _What could I say to him? I was so scared. I didn't want to go on if you died. I'm in love with you and I don't want to be, but I am. No. No, I couldn't say any of that. _

Dr. Lam approached looking quite determined and carrying a cup and something in her other fist. Vala hoped the doctor would tell her to come back later.

"Alright," Carolyn said with as much sternness as she could muster seeing Vala's distressed countenance. "I have a sedative and a cup of water." She thrust both towards Vala. "If you take it, I'll give you three minutes and then it's off to bed for you and Daniel. I mean, you to bed and him to... anyway take the meds!"

Vala chucked the pill in her mouth, took the water and guzzled it down.

Carolyn held out a hand towards the closed curtain around Daniel's bed and Vala entered.

Once inside she spit the pill out into the trash can.

Daniel raised a brow with a grimace at the pain it caused him.

"Don't ask." Her tone was serious. He looked awful. Swollen and bruised. "I'm glad...glad you're, well, alive. And home. Glad you're home."

"I'm sorry I wasn't..."

"Pfft! Really Daniel?" Her gaze darted around the room. "I was supposed to go for help and ..."

He groaned as he pushed up on his pillows. "You did good. Except for..."

"Falling off a cliff?"

"Yea, except for that. But I heard you were chased off a cliff and maybe it's what saved you, I mean since those goons stopped looking for you. Anyhow, I've been thinking..."

"Well, Carolyn said three minutes or I'd be banned for life. So. Well. Ahm. Er. Well, see you." Biting her lip and brows scrunched down in confusion, Vala did that funny little window washer wave, then she could barely find her way out of the curtain as she rushed away.

Shocked Daniel sat there staring at the empty space where she had stood fidgeting and looking mostly at the floor. She was pale, there were dark circles under her red rimmed eyes. Her shoulders were slumped, but he supposed that could have been due to her cracked ribs from where she'd landed in the tree. Mitchell had told him the horrific details of her escape and how she'd been in that tree for hours before he found her. Taking a deep breath, Daniel clinched his teeth suddenly feeling the pain in his own bruised ribs.

He'd waited for Vala's visit because he wanted to say something to her. Something about his feelings. Feelings that he'd gone over and over as he'd been repeatedly beaten. It was what kept him from giving up hope.

The curtain parted and he thought for just a moment it was Vala. But Mitchell entered huffing and puffing.

"God, Mitchell, you look like crap."

"What'd you say to her?"

"Huh? Who?"

"Vala."

"What?"

"She ran outta here cryin'."

"Crying? She came in, said she was glad I was alive, and then she left. Why the hell is she crying?"

"Because," Carolyn interrupted coming through the curtain, "she's exhausted, physically and mentally. She certainly hasn't slept much... if at all since she got back. Or eaten that I know of. I insisted on a sedative, and she took it just before I let her in to visit."

Daniel quickly decided not to mention that she spit that pill out. "So when can I get out of here?" He asked looking from Carolyn to Mitchell.

"Maybe tomorrow. I want another cat scan to be sure I didn't miss any internal injuries."

"Okay, why can't we do that now?" Daniel sat up straighter and kept the pain it caused off his face.

Mitchell gave a half assed laugh. "Have you looked in the mirror?"

"You're walking and talking. So I can't be much worse."

"Man, I hate to tell you but you look a whole hell of a lot worse then I do. Right doc?"

Carolyn ignored Mitchell and studied Daniel's chart. "I suppose I could order it up now. I'll see what I can do."

~0i0~

Wearing t-shirt, sweat pants and hospital slippers, Daniel snuck out of CT/X-ray and headed towards the elevators. Rounding a corner he stopped suddenly seeing Vala standing against the wall, eyes cast down. He watched her intently. Slowly he approached, whispered her name. "Vala?"

Eyes rising to meet his she tried unsuccessfully to smile.

"What's wrong?" He asked, concerned and for some reason a little fearful.

A heavy sigh escaped Vala. "It's... it's so hard to be... to not hold back. To say how I feel about... this not you and me thing. I want to, Daniel. I want to. To say it."

Taking her hand, he led her to the elevators, ran his card and escorted her in. "How **do** you feel?"

Looking down at his hand that held tightly to hers, Vala whispered, "I didn't know how much I loved you."

With sign of relief he told her, "Me neither."

"Not, not like a friend or co-worker."

He laughed lightly, then sucked in a breath when it caused a sharp pain in his side. "I know. I know. I love you in every way possible. I want to love you for whatever time I have left in this life and any others I might find you in. I love you so much, Vala. So much."

The elevator door shut and Daniel backed Vala against the wall placing his forehead against hers. "Can I kiss you?"

She squeaked, nodding rapidly.

His kiss was slow and sexy, tender and teasing while his hands gently mapped her curves, careful of her injuries.

Vala moaned deeply.

Breaking the seal of lips, Daniel stepped back. "Did I hurt you?"

She grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt. "No, why?"

"You moaned."

Leaning into him she said, "Of course I moaned. I'm aroused... and wet. And I love you, too."

This time Daniel groaned.

"Mmm, hurt?" Vala asked.

"Wha..huh?"

"You groaned, something hurting?" She managed to add a bit tease to her voice.

The elevator stopped and Daniel moved away from her pulling his shirt tail out and yanking it down.

~0i0~

Her room smelled of cinnamon. The only light came from her small bedside lamp. Daniel's hand was on her back as he guided her across the room towards the bed. His heart beat fast, his throat tightened as if he wanted to cry. She suddenly seemed so small and vulnerable.

Vala yawned with a little hum.

"I'll... I'll let you get some rest..."

"Don't leave. I mean, I might need some help getting ready for bed. I have trouble with clothes. I'm surprised you didn't trip over the stuff I tried to put on but couldn't manage. Actually," She turned slowly to face him, looking up at his downturned face. "I don't want to be alone, Daniel."

His smile was so sweet it sent her heart into overdrive. Somehow she managed to smile back, though she could hardly breath.

"I'd be happy to assist. What can I get for you to sleep in?"

"Nothing. Just get me out of this."

"Er. Ah. Sure." Swallowing loudly he stood there nodding without moving.

"Darling, we are both so bruised and battered there's not a chance in hell we can do much more than sleep. So. I think we should sleep. And I could sleep if you're here." Vala turned sharply and pointed to her bed, then sucked in a breath grabbing her side.

Moving quickly, Daniel came up behind her wrapping her in his arms.

Relaxing, Vala leaned her head back. "I can't think. I didn't mean that we should... I mean it's just sleeping, is what I mean. Not that I wouldn't want more but due to our current conditions that won't happen. The more then sleeping."

"I know. Don't worry, I know. I thought about it for days. About you. Me. It's what kept me hanging on. Thinking about us. I don't know why we fought so hard to hide our feelings for each other. I really don't care why. I only know, now, how important it is to love you, Vala. To be with you every second I'm able to. You're all that matters." He turned her around to face him, raised her face to his and kissed her intimately, softly.

When he slowed and broke the kiss, Vala nibbled his lip, lowered her eyes then lifted them again. "It's nice to hear that. I don't think I would have had the courage to say it first. To say that I've fallen in love with you. That I want to be with you, you know, not as friends and co-workers."

"Vala, are you ever going to let me forget that?"

"Not a chance. But you have been a good influence on me, darling. Helped me to see things differently. And I've been a good influence on you. Helped you to see something other than rocks and words. You... Daniel, you made me wake up and see I could love and be loved again."

Brushing her mouth with a swift and sweet kiss Daniel pulled back.

"You don't have to be so gentle, Daniel. I won't break. I'm fine."

His gaze was mapping her pale face with its flushed cheeks. "I'll remember that next time. This time I just want to hold you while you sleep. But when we're both well, I want to touch and kiss every inch of your healed exquisite body."

"Mmm, can't wait." She yawned long and loudly. "I'm so tired."

"Okay, let's get you out of that sweater." Taking it slow he pulled at the hem, working it upwards.

Vala shivered.

"Cold?" He asked concerned.

"Not by a wrong shot." She mumbled sleepily.

"Long. Long shot."

"Does it really matter, Daniel?"

"Nope. Can you raise your arm. This is the injured side, right?"

"Yes, but this slow stripping of me is way too sexy."

"Just relax. I don't want to hurt you. Besides, I'm a bit slow with movement myself. Think about spiders or whatever." His hands were brushing her skin, running under the soft, soft skin of her arm as he worked it free. He had to clear his throat to speak. "Think clinical."

When he completely freed the arm she moaned in pain and covered it with chatter. "Like on the Prometheus?"

He hesitated. Took a deep breath. "We're not going to discuss that." He was working to free her other arm and concentrated his efforts.

"Why not? Hmm? I wasn't wearing a thing under that Super-soldier suit."

"I know." He freed the other arm, took another deep breath and let it out slowly.

"What did you think? I mean when you realized I was naked under there?"

"Nada. I told you, I kept my eyes closed the whole time." Steeling himself against his task, Daniel tugged the sweater over her face.

"What did you think?" She mumbled as the garment slid over her head.

His hands went to her shoulders. "That like now, if I died, I'd die a happy man."

"Grrr. Oh, ow, that hurt." Vala grimaced.

"Okay, in you go." Daniel reached over and turned the covers down.

"Well, alright, but I don't want to sleep in these pants. They're new."

"We'll fix that once you're warm, now get in the bed, Vala."

"I will." Vala reached back to undo her bra. "Ah, oh gods, that hurts." She bent over crossing her midsection with her arms.

He rubbed her back worried about her injuries.

"I can tell you're worried, darling, I'm worried about you. We'll both be fine. Unhook my bra, Daniel."

"You're killing me."

It took minute increments for Vala to stand back up. "I'm sorry, but it squeezes my chest and ..."

"I got it." He made quick work of the bra and tossed it aside as if it were a snake. "How'd you get the damned thing hooked?"

"Walter."

"Son of a bitch."

"Well someone had to do it."

"Please get under the covers."

"Fine! But I have to move slow. Slower than you."

"Of course you do." His gaze flicked back and forth from her beautiful and beckoning breasts to the curves of her bum as she crawled across the mattress in the close fitting pants.

Settling in, she sighed. "Covers?"

"Sure." Daniel covered her.

"Pants?" She nearly slurred the words in tiredness.

"What's under them?"

"Nothing."

"I may have to leave and take a long walk, or cold shower."

"Don't be silly," She yawn again. "It's all very clinical."

"Sheesh." Kneeling on the bed he reached under the covers, snatched the material just over the knees and methodically slipped her pants down, across her thighs and finally, when he could barely breath, he pulled them over her feet. "There. Done. Go to sleep."

"Come to bed, Daniel. I was teasing. I still have panties on. Those boxer SGC type.. for girls," She reached under the covers and tugged the underwear back into place, slowly and carefully to protect her taped ribs. "If you need to you can hand me your t-shirt. But it would hurt awfully bad for you to get out of it and me to get back into sleeves and such. And of course you'd be shirtless, which actually, sounds heavenly. It's very warm and cozy under these covers."

He stood with hands on his hips staring at her for all of a minute before crawling under the covers as carefully as possible. He groaned with the ache it caused.

Vala moaned as the bed shifted and caught her unaware.

Then they both laughed as best they could.

"Good night, Daniel." Vala reached back and placed her bandaged hand on his hip.

He managed to move closer, cover her hand with his and whisper. "Good night, Vala."

~0i0~

That was their ritual over the weeks of healing. He'd help her undress and crawl in the bed after her. Hand holding turned to gentle caresses, sweet kisses and softly spoken words of love.

After three weeks the serious kissing and heated fondling began.

On the forth week, the good doctor released them to limited activity.

"Vala." Carolyn said once Daniel moved towards the door. "I'm going to keep your ribs wrapped for another week, maybe two. Please be careful. And you know what I'm talking about. I see the way you two are looking at each other, chomping at the bit."

"What? Bit of what?"

"Anxious to consummate your new relationship."

"Pfft. Really, Carolyn. We're just friends and co-workers."

"Who sleep together every night? We all know, so don't give me that look. Vala, all I'm saying is to be careful right at first. You have a life time to amp it up."

"Who knows? Oh, never mind! As long as you're not saying we can't have sex! I get it. I understand limited activity. No unnecessary roughness. No handcuffs. No hanging from..."

Carolyn held up a hand. "Stop. Okay. You understand."

Vala hopped down from the infirmary bed and dashed out to catch up with Daniel. She didn't need to rush, he was waiting for her in the corridor.

He took her hand. "Lunch?"

"Not a chance. I remember something about touching and kissing every inch of my healed body."

"Exquisite healed body." Daniel reminded her as he gave her a gentle, playful and careful shove to the wall and kissed her with unleashed and unfettered passion.

Vala put her arms around his neck tightly and tried to match the inferno that was his audaciously sexy kiss. His tongue challenged hers and set her afire. A fire that crept into her breasts and swelled them into his marauding hands.

His mouth and tongue licked and sucked it's way across her chin and down her neck.

She wanted to touch the hardness that pressed against her but felt too drugged to move.

All of a sudden he grabbed her arms pulling them from his neck. "We need to get a room."

"Hmmm? Oh. Yes we do. But, darling, no one is watching. It's the weekend. Only the boney crew here."

"Skeleton." Daniel stepped away and nearly laughed at the sight of her. Vala's usually alert eyes were soft, dreamy and nearly half closed. She leaned against the wall smiling wantonly.

"Room. Yours or mine?" He asked.

"Let's try yours for a change. And hurry."

Clasping hands they scurried to the elevator, which unfortunately was occupied, and rode it down a level. Once off the elevator and in the empty hallway, Vala grabbed Daniel by his T-shirt neck and yanked him into a kiss. She'd hardly got a good seal of lips when he, with hands on each side of her head, forced her head back.

"No you don't. You pulled that stunt the first time we met." His hand went up under her chin, fingers firmly grasping, lifting her face closer as he took her mouth in a searing kiss.

"Now." Daniel said sliding his mouth to her ear, "let's get to my room. 'Kay?"

"Yes. Of course, yes. Daniel?"

He took her hand again leading her to his door. "Yeah?"

"Is love always going to be this intense?"

Swiping his card Daniel pushed his door open, lifted her into his arms, kicking the door closed behind them. "We haven't even gotten to the intense part. Wait a couple of weeks more and I'll show you all about intense."

~END~


End file.
